Update

So, for all those wondering what's the latest in the "Trying to Conceive" part of this blog. I promise to keep you updated. But for now at least, there isn't much to report. I am going to take a break from this blogging topic. If something significant changes I will be sure to let you know. But for now, we'll just keep on keeping on and hope for the best!

Friends

I consider myself a very lucky person in that not only am I married to my best friend, but I also have many other wonderful friends in my life. For example, I am blessed that my Brothers and their wives are not only my relatives, but also my dear friends. My mom and dad are also not only my parents but people with whom I truly enjoy spending time, and who are indeed my friends. (However, let's be clear, they were not those parents who tried to be my "friend" when I was in high school. They were always my parents first, but they did it right, and we have, for as long as I can remember, also shared a friendship). I have cousins who are also dear friends. My non-relative "best friend" has been just that since we were 5 (Well, she was 5, I was 6). We have neighbors who are friends, friends from high school and college, and colleagues who are friends. Marrying Matt has introduced me to many additional, wonderful friends that I wouldn't have otherwise known. But all of this is not to brag about how great my life is because of my friends.

Rather, recently, I have been thinking a lot about how friends change throughout life, while some stay the same. Matt and I have started to make new friends because we now have a child. We have been fortunate to meet a few couples (and their kids) lately with whom we truly click. It is much like being in kindergarten again when the idea of new friend is so exciting and invigorating. As anyone who has had a child knows, having a kid changes your life DRAMATICALLY! And finding people with whom you can share that life-changing aspect of life in an honest and open way is a rare and special thing. Finding people with whom you can share in that way, who you didn't even know a year before is even more special.

 I look at my own parents' closest friends and know that those friendshops grew out of a joint connection with their kids. It is exciting and interesting to think about how our new friends will impact our lives and Ryan's life, and the lives of any future children we have. It is also exciting to think that some of the people who will be our closest friends as we get older we may not have even met yet.

At thirty (almost 31) years old I hope that I have at least 2/3 of my life yet to live. In the first third I have met many wonderful people. I am grateful for the new people we have recently met. And I am excited at the prospect of the many unknown friends we still have yet to meet in the next two thirds of life. It is intriguing to think that many of the people who may have a great impact on my life or on the life of my child(ren) have not even entered our lives yet. And likewise, it is exciting to think that some of the people we JUST met may end up being lifelong friends. Similarly, I am eager to see how the long-term friendships I have shared for many, many years grow and develop. Like much of life with a small child, friendships are ever evolving!

Parenting in the Age of the Internet

As someone who blogs I am clearly a person who uses the Internet a lot. I use Facebook, Blogger, Pinterest, Twitter (rarely), etc. I get my news from the Internet, rarely picking up an actual newspaper (despite the fact that one is delivered to our home every day. It is usually gone by the time I wake up, as Matt reads it on the train. And this is fine, because I don't have time to read the actual "paper"). I keep in touch with family and friends via the Internet. I get parenting advice from, yes, the Internet. And this last item has made me think a lot in recent days.

Clearly, the World Wide Web is an amazing resource. It allows me to feel "connected" to the world and to other moms on a daily basis despite the fact that from 8:00 a.m. until 7:00 p.m. (on most days) my only prolonged interactions are with children 5 years or younger. As Matt and I continue to struggle to get pregnant (fingers crossed this month!) I have found the web to be an amazing source of support. Friends and family, and even people who I haven't actually talked to in YEARS (some a decade or more) have been so kind with their thoughts, well wishes, and love (some haven't been as supportive, but that's beside the point!)

And yet, despite all these "pros" of using the Internet, I am also at times overwhelmed by it. And I wonder, as my generation of Moms and those that will come after, get older, will we be better off because of the WWW? Or will we instead be anxious, strung-out, nervous wrecks after 2 decades of parenting in the age of the Internet?

Only via the instantaneous and easily accessible interconnected web that is the net can one on a daily basis be bombarded with proof that they're not doing this parenting thing "right." On any given day, as a direct result of something I read on-line I may wonder, am I giving Ryan enough whole grains? Should I not be feeding him grains at all? Am I slowly killing him because we don't buy organic produce, much less, grow it in our backyard? Does he drink enough milk (which is organic by the way) or too much? Can he have a munchkin at Dunkin Donuts, or is that slowly killing him. too? Is it our fault he was a terrible sleeper as a baby? Can we actually take any credit for the fact that he sleeps like a champ now? Should he be enrolled in pre-school at the age of two, or can we safely hold off until he is three, and not risk his chances of getting into Boston College? (We certainly wouldn't want him  to have to settle for some sub-par University located in South Bend Indiana! ;) Are we sacrificing his potential musical ability by not yet enrolling him in music classes?

Fortunately, I am able to keep a pretty level head about most of these things and feel confident in the decisions that Matt and I make based on what we believe is best for Ryan and for our family. I am grateful that we have an extremely down-to-earth pediatrician who supports our decisions and constantly reminds us that we are extremely reasonable parents and we make excellent decisions. And on most days I don't stress too much about these things. And usually I am more grateful for the "pros" of the web than I am stressed by the "cons." But I can say with certainty that I worry about the above list of "issues" a LOT more than I would if I did not have the wealth of information at my finger tips that the Internet provides.

So, what do you think? Are we raising healthier, happier kids because of the Internet? Or are we as Moms and Dads so stressed out by everything we read that our stress will eventually rub off on our children and they will in turn end up on a psychologists couch at the age of 19 because of all the "googling" we did??

Open for Swimming!

So, I had my HSG today, and we got the results of Matt's testing. And, the results are all good! My tubes are open and Matt's "guys" are plentiful and good swimmers! What a relief! They did see something on the HSG that could be a polyp. So, I have to have one more test, a hysterosonogram. This will tell them whether or not I have a polyp. If I do, it could be the reason I am not pregnant yet and then they will likely remove it (through a minor procedure involving light sedation). If there is not a polyp then we hope that there was some small blockage in my tubes that got swept out during the HSG today. Hopefully I will be able to schedule the hysterosonogram in the next day or two. If not, we will do it next cycle, in which case we will hope I get pregnant before then and find it unnecessary.

I am surprised at how relieved I am that my tubes are not blocked. If they were, it would have been because of my c-section (I have no other risk factors) and it wasn't until I found out that all was well that I let myself truly feel all that I had been thinking. I had been doubting the necessity of a c-section when Ryan was born and wondering if I should have pushed harder to avoid it. Obviously, at the time I knew it was the right decision for many reasons, and my doctors agreed. But now, I can move forward, and simultaneously look back without any doubt that it was indeed the right decision and have no regret.

I'll be sure to keep you all posted!

And in the meantime, again, there are a few thank yous that I must send out:

1) My parents for arriving at my house at 7:20 this morning to watch Ryan so I could make it to my 9:10 appointment. And for staying on throughout the morning to watch my nieces.

2) My wonderful sister-in-law, Catharine who drove me to the appointment so driving would be one less thing I had to worry about. We sat in horrible traffic and she focused on driving while I focused on calling the clinic with updates on our time of arrival. And having her to chat with made me far more calm than I otherwise would have been sitting in all that traffic.

3) Shady Grove for still doing the procedure despite my arrival at the clinic 20 minutes late. I was so worried they wouldn't do it! When they said they still could I grew tearful in gratitude. I would have completely understood if they had not. Once again, everyone was so kind and sensitive. From the woman at the billing desk to the nurse, to the radiologist.

4) Matt, for continuing to be my biggest support and the love of my life.

5) Space Shuttle Discovery's transport crew for flying over 495 just as Catharine and I got on the beltway to head home. It was an exciting way to end an otherwise stressful morning! This was a pretty spectacular site:

Credit: The Washington Post. Also, we were no where near this close. But we could still clearly see it (and the  much smaller plane that trailed it) from our view on 495. It was pretty neat!

Again, thanks for reading!